Happy Birthday, Daddy!

For those who know me well, you know that I typically run 100 mph in 100 different directions. I have decided that it's hereditary, and I get it from my dad. I've recently had several blog ideas floating around in my head and have had ZERO time to even write any of them down, much less actually blog about them. (Sometimes it's tough having no margin in your life.) However, I was not going to skip this one!

Today is my dad's birthday. He would have been 59 years old. (Wow. That's sound weird to me for some reason.) He fought cancer for over six years - he even kicked cancer's tail a few times. However, he lost his battle on Sunday, March 4, 2007, at 1:00 in the morning. He was the most wonderful man that I've ever known. I know that many girls would say that about their daddies, but he was truly amazing! Dad always loved a good party. He was a "more-the-merrier" type of person. I guess that's where I get it from! He never expected big, expensive gifts because he was more than satisfied with a bag of Twizzlers and/or gummy bears. They were his favorite!

As I sit here, staring at his picture next to my computer, I'm thinking about all the things he's missing. He didn't get to walk my sister down the aisle on her wedding day, nor will he get to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day - someday. He'll never get to hold Spencer or any of his future grandkids. And man, he would SO be loving this church planting gig! My friend, LaRissa, once said that he was a church planter before any of us even knew what church planting was! That was just the kind of man that he was - meeting people where they were and taking Jesus to them. He didn't wait for them to walk through the doors of a church building. He taught people how to BE the church.

There are so many people in my life now who never got to meet him, and I know that the older I get, that will be more and more of a reality. After my dad passed away, one of my dearest friends, Liz, reminded me that Jesus accomplished everything on earth that God needed him to in 33 years before dying on the cross. And my dad, although we thought he was too young to die, accomplished everything on earth that God needed him to in 55 years. And even though it makes me sad, I know he's with Jesus. And that's the BEST birthday gift.

Daddy, I miss you and I love you. More than you'll ever know!

Running Away

Have you ever wanted to run away? Maybe you had a bad day or a rough week. Or maybe a terrible month or even a year... Did you just want to escape? Well, I'm going to. For the first time ever, I'm running away. The car is packed and I'm about to head out with a close friend of mine. Several girlfriends wanted to come with me (and I love them so much for it) but they were unable to get away. My life has been crazy for the past several months, and I'm desperately seeking some peace and rest. I desire to be still and quite for long periods of time so that I can listen. I'm listening for what's next. Where does God want to take me? My prayer is that when I hear from Him, I will be willing to follow His calling for my life.

I recently went to an unbelievable Sanctus Real concert with Leeland and The Afters. I absolutely love Sanctus Real's music. Their lyrics of their songs speak to me like few others do. Two of their songs have really been on my heart lately: "I'm Not Alright" and "Whatever You're Doing"...

I would appreciate any prayers you can offer up as I am quiet and still for the next few days, searching for God's will for my life.

Breathe

Several weeks ago, I was asked to lead worship for the HBC ladies conference. I, of course, asked my favorite piano player and close friend, LaRissa, to lead with me. I was told that the theme for the conference was "Generations". Kind of a broad topic. Wasn't really sure which direction to go, but we met together a few times to plan and practice the set. Now you have to realize that when I sit on LaRissa's piano bench with her, time no longer exists. We typically get completely lost not only in worship, but also in conversation, ideas, songwriting, etc. It's not uncommon for us to spend hours - usually into the late hours of the night - together on that piano bench. That night we prayed through some songs and put together a great set:

Mighty to Save

The More I Seek You (Kari Jobe)

Lead Me to the Cross

Blessed Redeemer (Casting Crowns)

Amazing Grace/My Chains Are Gone

Not a God (Billy & Cindy Foote)

Revelation Song

However, each time we met together, we kept coming back to Open the Eyes of My Heart. LaRissa said that over the past few weeks, each time I would text her a question about the set or getting together to practice, that song would come on the radio or come to her mind. So we camped out on that song for a while late one night on her piano bench. We decided to start the set with that song, but I wanted it to be different. I didn't just want to sing the words. I wanted the lyrics to truly be the desparate cry of our hearts! So when we began the set at the conference this past Saturday morning, I talked a lot about baggage. We've all got it. We're worried about something. Nervous about a our finances. Anxious about the future. Concerned about a broken relationship. I asked them to very literally lay it all down at our Father's feet. We spent a few moments praying for one another - asking our Savior for strength to lay our burdens down and to earnestly seek Him, even if only for a little while as we spent a few hours together. As they were praying over each other, LaRissa began to play as I prayed the lyrics over them:

"Open the eyes of my heart, Lord

Open the eyes of my heart.

I want to see You. I want to see You.

To see You high and lifted up,

Shining in the light of Your glory.

Pour out Your power and love

As we sing 'Holy, Holy, Holy'

We want to see You!"

I have sang (and led) this song countless times, but this time something was different. As I read the lyrics over and over again as we sang and prayed through them, I couldn't help but smile. I think that I forget, too often, just how mighty my God is. He is all-powerful. He desires nothing more than to shower me with His love. He constantly has angels surrounding Him singing His praises. They're singing, "Holy, Holy, Holy is the LORD God Almighty, who was and is and is to come." He has always been mighty, He is full of power, and He will always be in control! I sometimes forget that He is "unchageable, unshakeable, unstoppable" (Not a God) and that no matter what is going on my life or in our world, nothing will ever shake Him. Nothing ever takes Him by surprise.

I chose to lead Kari Jobe's new song The More I Seek You not only because it is one of my new favorites, but because of it's simple message: "The more I seek You, the more I find You. The more I find You, the more I love You." The chorus is what really gets me though:

"I wanna sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand,

Lay back against You and breathe, feel Your heart beat.

This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.

I melt in Your peace, it's overwelming."

What absolutely beautiful lyrics - "Lay back against You and breathe". Just saying the words brings me comfort. I am such an incredibly busy girl. I am constantly on the go. I am often frazzled and don't take enough time for myself. Don't get me wrong, my world may seem crazy at times, but I absolutely love my life. It doesn't matter how nuts life seems for the time, those lyrics portray to me a picture of laying back against the chest of my heavenly father, breathing deeply, and just sitting with Him for a while. Forgetting about the madness, the craziness, and the baggage, and just breathing. What a comfort.

We had an incredibly beautiful time together at the women's conference. What a priviledge it was to lead those beautiful ladies to the throne. I know that LaRissa and I both enjoyed sitting at our Savior's feet with them.

Baby Daylie

I recently had a photo shoot with one of my new

favorite girls - sweet baby Daylie! She is such a precious girl! We set up in her nursery and had a great time together. She had just eaten, so she was a happy girl with a very full belly - you can really tell in a few of the photos! She was so much fun to watch as she discovered her hands. She was almost a month old when I took her photos, but she was already pushing up with her arms. We had quite a time getting her to lay on her belly with her feet and legs tucked underneath her. She is one strong little girl! Here are a few of my favorites --->

Sweet Sarah and Baby Spencer

I can't believe it!!! My baby sister is going to have a baby! Of course, I've known for nearly nine months, but I guess it's really starting to sink in! Spencer will be here in just a few days! I am beyond ecstatic and cannot wait to be an aunt!

A few weeks ago, I took Sarah's maternity portraits! We started out at Loy Lake Park and finished up at Austin College. It was a beautiful day, and even though the sun got pretty warm, Sarah was a trooper! We got some great shots! Here are some of my favs!

This was one of my favorite shots because I took one of her brial shots in the exact same location and pose! This time, she was holding her belly instead of her bouquet! --->

Lay It Down

Yesterday, we had an absolutely beautiful service at The Crossroads. Pastor Shawn began a new series on worship. This week, he spoke about the cross. We did things a little differently than normal. We opened with "Made to Worship" and then we left the stage and Shawn talked for a few minutes about the cross and how we all have things we're holding onto - guilt, worries, sins - and he reminded us that God already took care of them all. One of the verses that he shared really stuck with me.

"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities;

the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,

and by his wounds we are healed."

Isaiah 53:5

It's a verse that I've read and heard for the majority of my life, yet I can't seem to get one line of it out of my head. "...the punishment that brought us peace was upon him..." Punishment and peace. Two words that I typically do not associate together. Peace. It's so hard to find peace these days, and yet so many people are looking for it. I know I have been. God and I have been working through some tough stuff lately, and I find myself ecstatic when I make it through the day and realize that I feel a sense of peace, even if it's just for that day (or even that hour).

After Shawn spoke for a few minutes, he asked us each to take the slip of paper that was in each of our seats and write some of the things down - sins, guilt, worries - that we had been thinking about and invited us to nail them into the cross. Sadly, I had no trouble at all filling up my entire sheet of paper. And quite quickly, too. I walked to the front, and as I knelt down at the cross, I literally felt as if I was kneeling at the feet of my Jesus. The sound of the hammer hitting my nail made it so real for me.

Next, I took communion from the table and knelt down beside a friend who was praying. She turned to me and prayed a Jewish prayer over our bread, then said it in English for me. Next, she prayed Jewish and English prayers over our juice. It was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever heard. It took me completely by surprise. This unbelieveable feeling came over me and it took me a minute to figure out what it was. It was peace. In that moment, God reminded that I didn't have to search for peace every single day. He already took care of it. He already gave up his Son so that I don't have to carry around my guilt or pain or worries. I can experience His peace instead.

Yesterday, God spoke His love over me. He filled me with His peace. He reminded me that even though I have nothing but filthy rags to offer Him, He accepts them gladly, and restores my soul.

Lay it down...

Camp Kindergarten - Top 5

Wow. It's been over three weeks since my last post. Time flies when you're having fun. Or more appropriately in this case... time flies when school starts and you've got about a bazillion things to do!

Well, we have survived the first few weeks of school. I've got a pretty good class this year. Very sweet kids. A few little turkeys. One that's really going to keep me on my toes. But we're going to make it, and it's going to be a GREAT year! It's hard to believe that I'm already in my sixth year of teaching. One of my favorite things about teaching kindergarten are the simply hilarious things that my kiddos say. I'm so thankful for all the laughter that happens in our classroom (mainly because it keeps the tears at bay!) I'd like to share a few of my favorite things my students have said during these first few weeks of school. Here are my top 5...

5. It's the second day of school and our class is playing outside on our brand-new, beautiful playground. The sun is shining (it's HOT) and there's not a cloud in sight. My sweet little "L" comes up to me and says... "Ummmm... what's your name again?"
Me: "Remember, I'm Ms. James. Don't forget me."
L: "Oh yeah, Ms. James. Hey guess what?..."
Me: "Yes, L?"
L: (While looking up to the sky) "Well, according to my calculations..." (Then makes a "beep-beep-boop-beep" sound on his pretend weather-radar machine) "...it's not gonna rain today! So we can play outside!"
Me: (While thinking, 'Thank you, Captain Obvious') "That's GREAT!!! Thanks, dude!"

4. In the middle of a Language Arts lesson the second week of school, C raises his hand and says "Ms. James, if you ever need me for anything, and I mean EVER, you don't need to worry. I am Superman and I can go and change into my Superman clothes if you need me to 'cuz I've got a special secret room in that gym over there and I can change. So you just let me know." Totally out of the blue and completely random. The only response I had was "Ok, thanks. I'm glad to have you on my side."

3. One day during the first week, one of my little girls wore a dress that looked very much like a fairy princess dress (think Halloween costume). After dancing around on the playground for a few minutes...
Me: "O, your dress is very pretty."
O: "Thank you. I take my style with me wherever I go, ya know?!?"
Me: "Yep. Me, too."

2. While walking back from a restroom break one day, one of my little boys had a terrible cough. After catching his breath, I asked him is he was ok. He said, while patting his chest and shaking his head, "Well, I think I'm coming down with some homesick." LOL!!! I couldn't help but chuckle!

1. During Circle Time one morning, J asked me if I had a certain book that she wanted me to read to the class.
Me: "No. I'm sorry, but I don't think I have that book."
J: "Can you buy it and then read it to us?"
Me: "Well, books cost money, ya know?"
J: "Maybe you should get a job!!!"
Me: "Yep, maybe I should!"


I hope these made you laugh as much as me! I know our year in Camp Kindergarten is going to fly by! I hoping we're still laughing this much by Christmas! :)

A Blessed Summer

It's early. I'm at school. T-minus 20 minutes until it begins - a week of meetings, training, and prep time to get ready for our kiddos to come back to school. It's hard to believe that summer is already over. Last night as I was winding down from the day, I started to feel very sad. Sad that it was over. Sad that I had to go back to school. Sad that I had spent the majority of my last day of freedom alone. But, pity parties are not very much fun. I was heading to take a shower and get ready for bed, but decided to sit out on the patio for a minute. God timed it just right, because I got to see the most amazing sunset! As I sat in my rocking chair, soaking up the last few moments of summer, God reminded me just how blessed I am. I have a wonderful life. I have a family who loves me. I have loving friends who are like family, who support and encourage me. I am so blessed to have an education and a career that I love. I teach at a wonderful school with some amazing teachers. I have a roof over my head, food in my fridge, clothes in my closet, gas in my car, and air in my lungs. I am rich. I have no need to be sad. God has been more than fair to me. Needless to say, my pity party didn't last long. My tears turned to tears of joy and thanksgiving! I serve a BIG God who loves to show up in the detail of my life. And I am blessed beyond measure!

Alexa & Baby Daylie

Alexa is a close friend of mine who I get the priviledge of working with at school. I have had both of her older kiddos, John and Rileigh, in kindergarten. I'm so excited that she is pregnant with their third baby! Daylie is scheduled to make her arrival in September! I can't wait to love and spoil her!

Alexa and I chose a local ranch to shoot her maternity portraits. It was early evening, so the colors were amazing! Bright yellow flowers, beautiful blue sky, and the blazing sun. It was HOT! We were both drenched by the time we finished. I had so much fun playing with the colors. I was very pleased with how they turned out.

Here are a few of my favorite shots --->

Rediscovered Passion

Photography has been a passion of mine for quite some time. My "eye" for it comes from my dad. He discovered his passion for photography when he was in college. Before the digital age. You know, back when they used film. He even developed his own photos. His shots are amazing - mostly wildlife. Which, for those who knew him... would you expect anything else?!? He, of course, shot some of my sister and I when we were growing up, too. But life got in the way - like it does for most people - and he put his camera down.

When I was a senior in high school, two close friends and I had our senior portraits taken together by a local photographer. He was phenomenal. I was completely awed by him. I can clearly pinpoint that moment as being the one when my love and passion for photography was born. However, I could not afford a "real" camera until I was in college. I got my first Canon SLR (film camera) for Christmas my freshman year of college. I played around with it for a few months, learning what all the fancy buttons did. I had photo shoots with my favorite model (my baby sister, Sarah) quite often. We would shoot several rolls and then rush off to Wal-Mart. We would find something do to for an hour, all the while dying with anticipation of what they would look like. I always thought they were SO good. Looking back at them now, I was such an ameteur (they are pretty bad!)

During my junior year in college, I asked for a Minolta Diamage A1 for my birthday - my first digital camera! My parents and friends had a surprise party for me and my new camera was the last gift I opened! I was stoked! I had been helping my former yearbook sponsor from high school with sports pictures and couldn't afford to waste film and prints anymore. So I walked into the digital world and fell even more in love. In exchange for helping with yearbook photos, I was given a free ad in the yearbook. The free advertisement, along with some of my own in the local paper, filled my appointment book. I was super excited to learn more and more with each photo shoot.

Fast forward to my 4th and 5th years of college (yes, I squeezed 4 years of college into 5!). I was beginning my education classes for my major. And just like it did for my dad, life got in the way of photography. I graduated and began teaching. Sure, I still had a photo shoot or a wedding every once in a while. I even bought myself (another) new camera - a Canon Digital Rebel - and loved it. But it wasn't like before. Other things took precident over my time - family, teaching, the passing of my dad, the worship band, church planting.

Fast forward again to just a few months ago. I'm not sure what it is, but there is a new stirring in my soul and my passion for photography is creeping back up to the surface! I have had several photo shoots in the past few weeks and I find it hard NOT to sit down with my laptop and edit photos for hours at a time.

I'm still teaching, still in a chuch plant, and still love to spend time with my family and friends. It's not like I've got tons of extra time on my hands, but I'm excited to be taking the steps toward my passion again and I can't wait to see where God takes me!

Here are some shots from a recent shoot ----->

I'll be posting more photos from my other shoots soon!

Goodbye Polka Dots!

For those of you who know me, you know that I could never say goodbye to polka dots forever. Even my kindergarten students know that polka dots make me happy! :) However, it was time for a change. Over the past several weeks, I've been collecting new decor for the bathroom in my apartment. I need to say THANK YOU to my sweet ladies who helped me out. (You know who you are, and I love you so much!) We decided on espresso, gold, and coral. Who knew I'd like them as much as my precious green?!? Here are the before and after shots:

Beautiful are the feet...

During our time in Tula and San Francisco, we had the sweetest group of ladies who cooked and served us three meals each day. In the past, we have always given gifts to the pastors' wives of the mission churches where we serve. However, the time we wanted to do something for all of the ladies. Early on in the week, one of the ladies from San Francisco said that she really liked the bags we were using to transport our craft supplies back and forth each day. She asked if she could buy one of the bags at the end of the week. *Keep in mind that the people in this village have next to nothing.* We soon found out that all of the women had been admiring the bags, but we knew there was absolutely no way we were going to accept any money for these bags. Instead, we filled the bags with goodies -- lotions, soaps, wash cloths, snacks, etc. -- for our new friends. There were 16 ladies who had served us throughout the week, and we had brought 16 bags with us. Imagine that...just enough!!! We had plans to pass the bags out to our new friends on the last day.

We knew they would love the gifts, but it just wasn't enough. We wanted to do more. We decided to serve them by washing their freet. I can't describe just how special this time was to all of us. You see, years agho my youth pastor washed the feet of our youth leadership team. It completely redefined servanthood for me. It was beautiful to see him kneeling down at our feet, loving us and serving us in a way he never had before. I had read the story in the Bible of Jesus washing his disciples' feet, but to see it right in front of me was completely life-changing! So as we spent those frew sweet moments with the beautiful women of San Francisco, reading God's Word, singing, praying, weeping, and loving on each other, I was reminded just how beautiful are the feet of those who bring God News. I will never forget that moment, for it was by far the most amazing thing I have ever done in the mission field.

Me Gusta Las Mantanas

After spending our first night in Tula, we met up with Pastor Nimias, our friend from the local church, and his group on Monday morning and started our journey up the mountain to San Francisco. It was only 36 miles from the church in Tula, but the mountainous terrain kept us on the path for nearly two hours before arriving at the village. *It actually took us closer to 2 1/2 hours the first day because we were marveling over the mountains, the streams and waterfalls, the farmers plowing their fields with donkeys and plows, and the livestock - cows, horses, and donkeys. I learned that I am not so bad at herding cattle, but that's another blog... We stayed in a hotel in downtown Tula and drove to San Francisco every day. However, we are making plans to camp in San Francisco during our next visit in order to save four hours of traveling time each day.

As soon as we arrived in San Francisco, we were all taken back by the sheer beauty of the mountains. One of the first things we noticed was the farmers literally on the side of the mountain (think 70% incline, or higher) tending to their crops - corn, beans, and sugar cane. It was absolutely amazing! We worked together to unload the vans and prepare for our first day of VBS (it's referred to locally as Escuela Biblica de Verano - Summer Bible School). Liz and our Thursday morning ladies' mission group had worked extremely hard for months before our trip to prepare all of the lessons and crafts. We had prepared for about two hours of VBS each day. However, the majority of the kids stayed at the church with us ALL day (8-10 hours) each day. While the men were doing construction work on the church building, we played with the kids, taught them Bible stories, did crafts, had snacks, sang songs, did puppet shows, blew bubbles, played with balloons, and just had a wonderful time learning about them and how they like to play. We taught them about Jesus feeding the 5000, Noah and the flood, the Good Samaritan, and the story of the prodigal son. The days seemed to fly by, and the week was coming to a close much more quickly than I was prepared for.

One day, early in the week, when Shawn was leading a Bible study for the village/church elders and leaders, with tears streaming down their faces, they thanked him over and over for coming to their village. They said they had prayed for so long for God to send people to help them. They told him that we were the first white people to ever come to their village. One of the men wanted to slaughter one of his calves for us to celebrate the return of his son who had been lost. The men (including Pastor Shawn - he was so stoked!) killed the calf on Wednesday, and it cooked in a pit down in the ground all night long for us to eat on Thursday - our last day there - and we had a celebration. The kids' lesson for the day was about the prodigal son. How cool is that? For the craft, we made tambourines, and we had a party! During the service that night, all of the kids used their tambourines while we sang all of our songs. It was so neat to see them be so excited about worship!

It was such an amazing week and I was very sad to see it end, but I know we will visit San Francisco again. I am planning to post a few more blogs about our trip to Mexico - about some people and events that have become very special memories for me.