Sunday, November 21, 2010

Running Away

Have you ever wanted to run away? Maybe you had a bad day or a rough week. Or maybe a terrible month or even a year... Did you just want to escape? Well, I'm going to. For the first time ever, I'm running away. The car is packed and I'm about to head out with a close friend of mine. Several girlfriends wanted to come with me (and I love them so much for it) but they were unable to get away. My life has been crazy for the past several months, and I'm desperately seeking some peace and rest. I desire to be still and quite for long periods of time so that I can listen. I'm listening for what's next. Where does God want to take me? My prayer is that when I hear from Him, I will be willing to follow His calling for my life.

I recently went to an unbelievable Sanctus Real concert with Leeland and The Afters. I absolutely love Sanctus Real's music. Their lyrics of their songs speak to me like few others do. Two of their songs have really been on my heart lately: "I'm Not Alright" and "Whatever You're Doing"...







I would appreciate any prayers you can offer up as I am quiet and still for the next few days, searching for God's will for my life.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Breathe

Several weeks ago, I was asked to lead worship for the HBC ladies conference. I, of course, asked my favorite piano player and close friend, LaRissa, to lead with me. I was told that the theme for the conference was "Generations". Kind of a broad topic. Wasn't really sure which direction to go, but we met together a few times to plan and practice the set. Now you have to realize that when I sit on LaRissa's piano bench with her, time no longer exists. We typically get completely lost not only in worship, but also in conversation, ideas, songwriting, etc. It's not uncommon for us to spend hours - usually into the late hours of the night - together on that piano bench. That night we prayed through some songs and put together a great set:

Mighty to Save
The More I Seek You (Kari Jobe)
Lead Me to the Cross
Blessed Redeemer (Casting Crowns)
Amazing Grace/My Chains Are Gone
Not a God (Billy & Cindy Foote)
Revelation Song
However, each time we met together, we kept coming back to Open the Eyes of My Heart. LaRissa said that over the past few weeks, each time I would text her a question about the set or getting together to practice, that song would come on the radio or come to her mind. So we camped out on that song for a while late one night on her piano bench. We decided to start the set with that song, but I wanted it to be different. I didn't just want to sing the words. I wanted the lyrics to truly be the desparate cry of our hearts! So when we began the set at the conference this past Saturday morning, I talked a lot about baggage. We've all got it. We're worried about something. Nervous about a our finances. Anxious about the future. Concerned about a broken relationship. I asked them to very literally lay it all down at our Father's feet. We spent a few moments praying for one another - asking our Savior for strength to lay our burdens down and to earnestly seek Him, even if only for a little while as we spent a few hours together. As they were praying over each other, LaRissa began to play as I prayed the lyrics over them:
"Open the eyes of my heart, Lord
Open the eyes of my heart.
I want to see You. I want to see You.
To see You high and lifted up,
Shining in the light of Your glory.
Pour out Your power and love
As we sing 'Holy, Holy, Holy'
We want to see You!"
I have sang (and led) this song countless times, but this time something was different. As I read the lyrics over and over again as we sang and prayed through them, I couldn't help but smile. I think that I forget, too often, just how mighty my God is. He is all-powerful. He desires nothing more than to shower me with His love. He constantly has angels surrounding Him singing His praises. They're singing, "Holy, Holy, Holy is the LORD God Almighty, who was and is and is to come." He has always been mighty, He is full of power, and He will always be in control! I sometimes forget that He is "unchageable, unshakeable, unstoppable" (Not a God) and that no matter what is going on my life or in our world, nothing will ever shake Him. Nothing ever takes Him by surprise.
I chose to lead Kari Jobe's new song The More I Seek You not only because it is one of my new favorites, but because of it's simple message: "The more I seek You, the more I find You. The more I find You, the more I love You." The chorus is what really gets me though:
"I wanna sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand,
Lay back against You and breathe, feel Your heart beat.
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in Your peace, it's overwelming."
What absolutely beautiful lyrics - "Lay back against You and breathe". Just saying the words brings me comfort. I am such an incredibly busy girl. I am constantly on the go. I am often frazzled and don't take enough time for myself. Don't get me wrong, my world may seem crazy at times, but I absolutely love my life. It doesn't matter how nuts life seems for the time, those lyrics portray to me a picture of laying back against the chest of my heavenly father, breathing deeply, and just sitting with Him for a while. Forgetting about the madness, the craziness, and the baggage, and just breathing. What a comfort.
We had an incredibly beautiful time together at the women's conference. What a priviledge it was to lead those beautiful ladies to the throne. I know that LaRissa and I both enjoyed sitting at our Savior's feet with them.